WHAT IS ANGER? UNDERSTANDING THE BASICS
Anger is a normal human emotion but it's a big one because it triggers the ancient fight / flight response. The other emotions that do this are anxiety, fear and excitement. This is why anger can be such a visceral experience, you really feel it in your body and that’s because your nervous system is going into that heightened state.
When you feel really angry the stress hormone cortisol will start to flood your body, adrenaline starts to pump around and then your body is getting primed for action (muscles tense, heart beats faster, digestive system slows down). In short doses this response is fine because you are able to come back to a place of rest and relaxation (parasympathetic nervous system) but when you are being continually triggered and feeling angry all the time (whether that is expressed or suppressed) that’s when anger can become really damaging to both your physical and mental wellbeing.
Anger shows up when we feel the need to defend ourselves. It’s a sign that something is wrong and needs our attention and consideration. Neither acting out in anger nor holding it in produces a desirable result. Anger demands our attention, as it buries our more authentic primary emotions, and prevents us from seeing ourselves and our situation clearly, and understanding what is happening within ourselves.
HOW ANGER IMPACTS YOUR BODY AND MIND
* headache
* digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
* insomnia
* increased anxiety
* depression
* high blood pressure
* skin problems, such as eczema
* heart attack
* stroke.
WHAT CAUSES ANGER? COMMON EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS
Quite often anger is the proceeding emotion that covers up what we're really feeling inside (scared, lost, rejected, unsafe, sad, abandoned, betrayed, lonely, grief, misunderstood, not good enough, not worthy, unloved).
This illustration called the Anger Funnel gives a clear description of how anger can be the blanket emotion for other feelings.
INNER CHILD HEALING AND THE ROOT OF ANGER
Anger isn’t often an emotion that we’re taught to express in a healthy and safe way. Quite often parents will either shame a child for showing their anger or taught to suppress and ignore it. If you want to have a better understanding of how you process anger or how you react to it or express it, then reflect back on your childhood and your parents / caregivers. Ask yourself these questions:
* How did mum / dad express tor suppress their anger?
* Was anger expressed in a healthy way or did it often make me feel unsafe?
* Was anger shown physically?
* Did mum / dad ever shame me for being angry?
* Was I taught to suppress and ignore my anger?
* When I was angry, what did mum / dad to? How did they react?
* Did you often feel angry as a child?
TAPPING TO PROCESS YOUR ANGER
It’s a very powerful and healing practice to explore your anger and find out what it might need. This 30 Min recording of a live session is the perfect way to help you process your anger and free your nervous system of negative tension so get yourself comfortable and watch it now.
EFFECTIVE TOOLS TO MANAGE AND RELEASE ANGER
EXPLORE WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR ANGER
Take time to think about what emotion might be lying behind your anger (anxiety, shame, guilt, stress, grief, not feeling good enough, etc). Understanding what lies behind it enables you to have a much better awareness of what’s really going on and therefore makes it easier to process.
START TO KNOW YOUR WARNING SIGNS
Your body is an incredible source of wisdom and will often be telling you before you consciously know it, that you're feeling stressed, anxious or angry.
These are your anger warning signs, so listen to how your body reacts. Here are some common physical symptoms of anger:
1. Knots in your stomach
2. Clenching your hands or jaw
3. Feeling clammy or flushed
4. Breathing faster
5. Headaches
6. Pacing or needing to walk around
7. “Seeing red”
8. Having trouble concentrating
GET TO KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS
What are the things in life that make you really angry? Better understanding what your own personal triggers are is a great way at being able to more effectively regulate your nervous system.
STOP, PAUSE, BREATHE
Rather than always reacting to a situation take a minute to stop, pause and breathe. Even a few seconds breathing can quickly transform the intensity of anger.
PRIORITISE YOUR MIND & SELF CARE
Sleep is the foundation of your mental health and wellbeing because its during sleep that your brain is drained of the metabolic toxins that have built up during the day. A good nights sleep means you're much less likely to get angry easily.
Meditation strengthens your prefrontal cortex which is your brains ability to self regulate your emotions. The more you meditate, the easier it is to process your emotions.
Tapping is a great way to process anger. Watch the three videos above to see how easy it is to do.
Hydrate & Feed Yourself your brain needs water to function properly so always make sure you're hydrated as even a small amount of dehydration effects how your brain functions. We all know the term 'hangry' and there is a good reason. Being hungry can quickly change your mood so always make sure you're eating healthily and regularly.
HOW TO RELEASE ANGER IN HEALTHY WAYS
Rather than projecting your anger onto others learn healthy and safe ways to process it:
* Boxing is a great at processing anger
* Hit a pillow
* Move your body (in whatever way you need)
* Dance around to music you love
* Breathe in a calming colour, and visualise breathing out a colour that represents your anger
* Invite your anger for a walk in nature - what does it want to tell you today?
* Physically take yourself away from whatever situation is triggering you. Changing your surroundings can quickly change how you feel.
* Set healthy boundaries with people that can often trigger your anger.
* Prepare your nervous system for things that may create anger in you. (for example if commuting makes you angry, make sure you meditate before your commute or even better - during your commute)
If you would like more support in processing your anger please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to hear from you xx