Why Uncertainty Triggers Anxiety: And How Tapping Can Help You Stay Calm

Uncertainty is one of the biggest triggers for anxiety and there’s a reason your brain reacts so strongly. Our minds are wired to prefer predictability and safety, and when the future feels unclear, our nervous system can switch into overdrive. Even predictable stress often feels safer than the unknown.

If you find yourself overthinking what might happen or feeling stuck when life feels unpredictable, you’re not alone. Here’s why uncertainty ramps up anxiety and what you can do to calm your mind.

1. The brain hates gaps: so it fills them with worst-case scenarios

The human brain is a master storyteller. When it doesn’t have all the information, it tries to “fill in the blanks”. Because of our negativity bias, it tends to imagine the worst-case scenario rather than neutral or positive outcomes.

This response helped our ancestors survive, but today it often fuels negative thoughts like:

• “What if something goes wrong?”

• “What if I can’t cope?”

• “What if I fail?”

When your brain lacks facts, it creates fear and that’s where anxiety thrives.

2. No clear outcome = no clear action

Anxiety loves uncertainty because it leaves us feeling stuck. When we know the outcome - a job is offered, a test is fine, a situation resolves - we can act. Action calms the nervous system. But when the future is unclear, the mind races, tension builds and physical anxiety symptoms appear, including:

• racing heart

• tight chest

• restlessness

• trouble focusing

3. The nervous system craves control

Our nervous systems equate control with safety. When life feels unpredictable, even slightly, the body reacts as if we’re in danger. This is why uncertainty can create both mental and physical anxiety symptoms, even when there’s no real threat.

4. Uncertainty highlights our vulnerability

Uncertainty reminds us that we can’t control everything, a reality that can feel exposing, especially for those who value routine and clarity.

Feeling anxious when life is unpredictable is normal. It’s your body signalling that it wants safety and stability.

5. We confuse uncertainty with danger

The brain doesn’t easily differentiate between:

• “Something bad is happening”

• “Something bad might happen”

To your nervous system, maybe feels like danger, which explains why anxiety can spike even when nothing has actually gone wrong.

How to calm your anxiety in uncertain times

The good news? You can train your mind and nervous system to respond more calmly to uncertainty. One of the most effective ways is by using Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping).

Tapping works directly with both your thoughts and your nervous system. It helps you:

• reduce the intensity of anxious thoughts

• calm your body’s stress response

• interrupt the brain’s worst-case scenario loops

• create a sense of safety in the body, even when life feels unpredictable

Try watching the Tapping for Uncertainty video above, it guides you through the process step by step, helping you release fear and feel more calm and grounded.

Calm in the Unknown

Uncertainty will always be part of life. The goal isn’t to eliminate it, but to support your nervous system so you can navigate the unknown with calm and confidence. Tapping is a powerful tool to help you do exactly that.

For more support reducing anxiety check out my guided meditation for anxiety and wellbeing programmes. Personalised 1:1 sessions are the perfect way to work on your own personal needs.

Big Love

Kim Murray xx

Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach | Founder of Happy Heads

Build Emotional Resilience: A Practical Guide

What Is Emotional Resilience?

Emotional resilience is the ability to navigate challenges, adapt to change, and recover from setbacks by learning and growing. It’s a skill that can be cultivated at any time in life — and one that supports you through every twist and turn that life throws your way.

Developing emotional resilience doesn’t mean you’ll never feel stress, sadness or frustration. Instead, it’s about learning how to process those emotions, care for yourself, and return to balance with kindness and perspective.

What Qualities Do Emotionally Resilient People Have?

Emotionally resilient people tend to share certain qualities and habits that help them stay grounded, even in uncertain times. The good news? Every single one of these can be learned and strengthened.

1. Self-Awareness

They regularly check in with how they’re feeling and recognise their emotional triggers. This awareness helps them respond to challenges thoughtfully, rather than react impulsively.

2. Emotional Regulation

They understand the importance of a strong self-care practice. Whether through meditation, tapping journaling or breathwork, they have techniques to identify, express and process their emotions in healthy ways.

3. Befriend the Inner Critic

Instead of letting their inner critic take the lead, they notice it with compassion and choose kinder, more encouraging self-talk. They don’t let limiting beliefs hold them back.

4. Healthy Boundaries

Resilient people know when to rest, say no, or ask for help. They protect their energy and understand that balance is key to long term wellbeing.

5. Optimism and Perspective

They keep things in context, focusing on what’s going well and trusting that stressful moments will pass. They see challenges as opportunities to grow and learn.

6. Adaptability

Change doesn’t throw them off course. They adjust when plans shift, viewing change as something to navigate rather than something to fear.

7. The Power of Connection

They reach out to trusted friends, family or mentors when life feels heavy. They know that resilience doesn’t mean doing everything alone, it means knowing who to lean on and having a support network.

8. Not Afraid to Fail

Resilient people embrace failure as part of growth. Each setback becomes a teacher that helps them evolve.

9. A Problem-Solving Mindset

They focus on what they can do, rather than what’s out of their control. This practical mindset helps them move forward even when things feel uncertain.

Would You Like to Build Your Emotional Resilience Today?

You can start right now with this 30-minute guided session called Build Emotional Resilience. It’s designed to help you feel grounded, clear, and more confident in your ability to cope. This session includes:

Insight – a deeper understanding of what emotional resilience is and how to cultivate it.
Breathwork – to engage your parasympathetic nervous system.
Tapping (EFT) – to process a time you feel you failed, reframing your negative thoughts and gaining new hope and perspective.

Take a moment for yourself today to reconnect recharge and remind yourself just how resilient you already are. Watch Build Emotional Resilience now.

For more support building your inner resources check out the Complete Wellbeing Reset designed to transform your mind, body and soul over the course of 10 weeks.

Big Love

Kim Murray xx

Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach | Founder of Happy Heads

How to Set Healthy Boundaries and Stop People Pleasing

What Are Healthy Boundaries and Why Do You Need Them?

In psychology, a boundary refers to the lines individuals draw for themselves, defining their level of comfort and what they are willing to accept from others in a relationship. These boundaries can be physical, emotional, intellectual or verbal and they help protect an individual's sense of self and wellbeing. 

A healthy boundary should make you feel:

• Safe & Grounded - You feel emotionally secure and less anxious because you've protected your energy, time or values.

• Empowered - You feel in control of your decisions and more confident in your ability to advocate for yourself.

• Respected (by yourself and others) - You're showing others how you expect to be treated and you're respecting your own needs.

• Clear and Less Conflicted - You're no longer guessing or second-guessing what’s okay for you. You feel more clarity in your relationships.

• Relieved and Free - You might feel lighter and relieved that you're not overcommitting, over-giving, or over-explaining anymore.

• Aligned with Your Values - A healthy boundary reflects what really matters to you, helping you live with more integrity and authenticity.

What is People Pleasing and Why is It So Damaging

I used to be a chronic people pleaser and for many years if you had asked me whether I thought that was a bad thing I would have replied “absolutely not, it’s great!”. It’s only over the past decade that I realise how damaging being a people pleaser really is and how much it impacts your energy, self worth and confidence.

Key Signs You Might Be a People Pleaser:

• You often put others people needs ahead of your own.

• You feel responsible for other people’s emotions.

• You hate and avoid conflict.

• You have difficulty expressing your own needs.

• You have low self-esteem.

• You often seek external validation.

• You have an inability to decline requests or say no.

• You often change yourself to fit in.

• You need constant reassurance.

• You regularly worrying about what other people think.

• You have difficulty setting boundaries.

• You feel guilty or anxious when saying no.

• You apologise for things that aren't your fault.

• You apologise for your needs or opinions:

Where does people pleasing come from?

If you connected with a lot of the above then don’t worry, I did too! It doesn’t mean that you are flawed in any way, it means you’re human. Being a people pleaser is a learnt behaviour from your childhood experience. For some people it might be a trauma response for others it might be learned from one or both of their attachment figures. It can stem from a desire for acceptance, a fear of rejection, or a need to be seen as "good” and for many people it’s completely unconscious and they don’t event realise they are doing it.  

How do we set healthy boundaries and stop people pleasing?

As someone who used to be a full on people pleaser I totally understand how it doesn’t stop overnight. It’s a gradual process so be really kind to yourself. Small boundaries can make a big difference and no one needs to know that you are setting them.

Tips on How to Set Healthy Boundaries

• Prioritise your self care every day. The calmer and more grounded you are the easier it is to set healthy boundaries. Meditation, tapping, breathwork, journalling, yoga… make these an integral part of your daily routine.

• Tapping is a great way to stop people pleasing - watch the video above or at the beginning of the post.

• Start to identify in what areas of your life do you want more boundaries (family, relationships, friendships, work or other). Getting clear on the areas of your life you want to improve helps you to gain more clarity on what your energy needs.

• What type of boundary do you want to set? physical, emotional, intellectual, or verbal? For example if you find your dad can often drains your energy, do you need to set a boundary for how much time you speak or see him each week? Remember that the other person never needs to know you are setting the boundary, it’s just for you.

• Stop apologising - I know this is a tricky one, I found this hard too but when you stop apologising for everything you preserve your energy and your inner confidence can start to grow.

• Stop over-explaining - again I know this feels really hard but you are wasting so much energy by over explaining. Keep things simple, clear and concise. Example - “That sounds great but I’m not free Friday”.

• Practice saying no - I know this will also feel tough and very alien at first so start small and remember you don’t need to over explain. A simple ‘no thanks’ works just fine.

• Spend less time with people who drain your energy and more time with people who feed your soul.

• Process your limiting beliefs because they may be preventing you from setting healthy boundaries. For example - I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy, I’m not important, it’s selfish to prioritise my needs, my voice isn’t important, I’m not loveable, I’ve not done enough…When you start to overcome your limiting beliefs everything else can follow. Watch the tapping video below to start to overcome them:

• Protect your energy - we are all giant balls of energy and there are many things throughout the day that can impact it. Watch the video below to help protect your energy and start to cultivate those much needed boundaries.

Would you like more support to stop people pleasing and set healthy boundaries?

Big Love

Kim Murray xx

Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach | Founder of Happy Heads

Reduce Anxiety Fast: How to Calm Your Nervous System

What’s happening in our body when we feel anxious?

Anytime you feel anxious your amygdala is triggered and your nervous system goes into the ancient fight, flight, freeze response (sympathetic nervous system). While in this heightened state, cortisol (the stress hormone) starts to flood your body, adrenaline starts pumping, muscles tense, heart beats faster, breathing gets shallow, digestive system slows down….your body is ready to react to the perceived threat.

Why Your Brain Still Thinks You’re in Danger

Back when we were cavemen and needed to fight sabre-toothed tigers this was a life saving response that kept us safe.

The problem is, thousands of years late - our brains don’t know the difference between a real and imagined threat. This is why in our modern day world, you might feel anxious when:

• You’re about to give a presentation at work

• You walk into a new social situation

• You need to speak up in a meeting

• You’re facing a tight deadline

Your body reacts as if you’re in danger, even though you’re completely safe.

How to Calm Your Nervous System

The good news? You can teach your body and your mind to feel safe again.


By understanding what’s happening in your brain and using science backed techniques like EFT tapping, Breathwork and Meditation, you can shift from the sympathetic (stress) response into the parasympathetic (rest and relaxation) state.

In my 30-minute YouTube session, Reduce Anxiety Fast, I guide you through simple but powerful tools to help regulate your nervous system and bring your body back into balance:

• Insight - into your brain and what’s really happening when we feel anxious

• Breathwork - diaphragmatic breathwork and collarbone breathing to engage your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relaxation).

• EFT Tapping - to reduce anxiety and bring your whole nervous system back into a place of balance, releasing tension from your body and mind.

🎥 Watch the Full Session

If you’d like to learn how to reduce anxiety fast and bring your nervous system back into balance, you can watch the full 30-minute session above.

For 1:1 support please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

The Power of Meditation

The Power of Meditation

Meditation is a powerful tool for nurturing your mind and strengthening your brain. Research shows it can improve both mental and physical wellbeing, with benefits such as:

• Reducing stress and anxiety

• Improving focus and emotional regulation

• Supporting better sleep

• Calming the amygdala (the brain’s fear centre)

• Building confidence and cultivating inner peace

And that’s just the beginning!

Do You Struggle to Meditate? You’re Not Alone.

Many people find meditation difficult at first. That’s because every mind and nervous system is unique, there’s no “one size fits all.” The key is discovering the approach that feels right for you.

Watch this Session: The Power of Meditation

In this 30-minute session, you’ll experience:

• Insight into Meditation – how it strengthens the mind and why your brain is unique.

• The Nervous System Reset – a short practice to reduce anxiety quickly.

• Calm Your Mind – the perfect meditation to start your day with whole brain balance.

• Releasing Worries Meditation – gently identify and let go of what’s weighing you down.

Subscribe to the Happy Heads YouTube channel for more videos and join me tomorrow for Ancestral Tapping: Break Free From Negative Patterns.

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

3 MINUTE TAPPING MEDITATION: REDUCE STRESS FAST

3 Min Tapping Meditation: Reduce Stress Fast

3 Minute Tapping Meditation: Reduce Stress Fast

Life moves quickly and so do our thoughts. If you’ve ever wished for a simple way to pause and reset in the middle of a busy day, a 3 minute tapping meditation might be exactly what you need. This quick tapping practice combines breathwork with gentle tapping on acupressure points to calm your nervous system and release tension.

Why Try a Quick Tapping Meditation?

A short tapping meditation doesn’t require lots of time or preparation. Just three minutes of tapping can:

• Reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm

• Release physical tension from the body

• Restore mental clarity and focus

• Help you feel calmer, more grounded and in control

It’s the perfect tool to use before a big meeting, during a stressful moment, or anytime you need a fast reset.

Follow Along with This 3-Minute Tapping Practice

Simply press play above and follow along with this Tapping for Stress Relief. In just three minutes, you’ll move through a gentle sequence designed to help you let go of tension and return to calm.

Make Tapping Part of Your Routine

The beauty of this quick tapping meditation is that it’s always available to you. Whether you use it in the morning to set your brain up for the day, at lunchtime to reset, or in the evening to unwind, this simple sequence can become a powerful part of your wellbeing routine.

Remember: big shifts don’t always require big commitments. Sometimes, just three minutes is enough to change your whole day.

Would You Like More Support?

If you enjoyed this practice and would like more support, I offer private 1:1 sessions where we can work on your own personal needs. These sessions are tailored to help you release stress, overcome limiting beliefs, and empower you with tools and techniques that you can use every day.

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

HOW TO FIND YOUR INNER GUIDE

Monthly Reset - Find Your Inner Guide

An inner guide, often referred to as your “soul’s voice” or intuition, is a powerful internal wisdom system that provides guidance and direction in life, helping you make choices that align with your authentic self.

Your inner guide is unique to you and is attuned to your life path, offering advice on whether to move forward or step back. Making good decisions often comes from trusting your intuition or gut feeling, which is your inner guide speaking to you.

This Monthly Reset is called How To Find Your Inner Guide and includes:

* Insight into what an inner guide is.
* Their benefits and how we can access them.
* An Inner Guide meditation to help you tune into them and listen to what words of wisdom they have for you today.

The monthly reset is totally FREE sign up to it HERE.

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

Ancestral Tapping to Break Free From Negative Patterns

ancestral tapping To Break Free From Negative Patterns

Have you ever felt anxious, had a fear, phobia or limiting belief that you couldn’t find the core route of? No matter how hard you try there doesn’t seem to be any links back to childhood or any time from your past? Perhaps it’s something that has been passed down from your ancestors.

Ancestral tapping is a healing experience that allows us to honour all that our ancestors went through. It gives you the opportunity to gently reflect back and you don’t actually need to know your family history to do it.

What are The benefits of ancestral tapping?

Many studies have now proven that we can carry trauma from the past, which is why ancestral tapping carries so many benefits:

Ancestral tapping helps you:

• Break free from generational trauma

• Reduce anxiety

• Overcome your limiting beliefs, giving you permission to give them back to your ancestors

• Change negative patterns and create new healthier habits

• Nurture your mental health and wellbeing

Ancestral Tapping to Break Free From Negative Patterns

Try this tapping process now to start the process of carving out your own path. Fore more support breaking free from negative patterns please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help.

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

THE BENEFITS OF TAPPING DURING PREGNANCY

The Benefits of Tapping During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is such a huge time of transformation, and it’s completely normal to have anxieties and worries along the way. Your body is busy intuitively building your baby, and your brain is going through more changes than at any other stage in your life — phew, that’s a lot!

During both of my pregnancies, I found EFT Tapping to be a gentle, powerful tool that helped me navigate the ups and downs in so many ways. Here’s how it helped me:

How Tapping Can Support You During Pregnancy

• Calm racing thoughts: Tapping helped keep me calm on the days my mind would start spinning.

• Process fears about your baby: It helped me work through worries about whether my baby was safe and growing in the right way.

• Boost confidence as a parent: Tapping supported me in becoming a parent for the first time, and managing the worries I had about being a mum of two.

• Process emotions: It was a gentle way to work through all the emotional ups and downs of pregnancy.

• Connect with your body: Tapping helped me tune into and deeply connect with my changing body.

• Prepare for a C-section: During my first pregnancy, my baby was breech, and I had a planned C-section. Tapping helped me process my fears around surgery.

• Overcome self-doubt in birth: Tapping supported me in trusting my body and ultimately helped me have a truly magical, natural birth with my second baby.

• Navigate postpartum haze: When I was exhausted and figuring out parenting for the first time, tapping helped me stay grounded.

• Energise your nervous system: On days of extreme sleep deprivation, tapping helped me feel steadier and more present.

• Reduce anxiety overall: By keeping anxiety at bay, I was able to show up as a calmer, more confident mother.

Try a Short Tapping Process

If you’re pregnant and curious about tapping, you can try this short tapping process right now. Even a few minutes can make a difference in calming your mind and connecting with your body.

Need More Support?

Pregnancy, postpartum, and early parenting can be overwhelming at times, you don’t have to navigate it alone. If you’d like more guidance, I would love to support you, get in touch: kim@happyheads.me

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

TAPPING WHEN YOU'RE FEELING HOPELESS

Finding Hope When You Feel Hopeless

Feeling hopeless is really hard so if you’re struggling right now, please know that you are not alone.We all go through moments in life when things feel unbearably tough, when finding hope seems like an impossible task. During these times, it’s easy to believe that nothing will ever change, but please know this: all is not lost.

You Have the Power to Rewire Your Mind

Your brain isn’t hard wired, it’s soft wired, which means you have the power within you to change the way you think and feel. How you’re feeling right now is not how you’re going to feel forever. Even the smallest glimmer of hope can begin to shift your perspective and create space for light to return.

Try This Short Tapping Process for Hope

Hope is one of the most powerful emotions we have. Try this short EFT Tapping process to cultivate hope and gently start to rewire your mind to think differently. Take a few moments for yourself and tap along with me now.

You’re Not Alone

You deserve support, compassion, and care. If you’d like more guidance or would love to work with me one-to-one, please get in touch: kim@happyheads.me I would love to hear from you xx

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

10% OFF PRIVATE SESSIONS

WOULD YOU LIKE A PRIVATE SESSION?

If the answer is YES then now is the time to book as I’m offering 10% off all my private sessions if you book before 31st July. If you're not sure then check out some of the lovely things people have said about 1:1s here.

Each session is tailored to you and consists of breathing techniques, guided meditation, and a full round of Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). EFT is a powerful tool at helping you release negative tension held in both your body and mind. It’s the perfect partner to meditation as it helps your brain get to the core route of a problem and takes the emotional / negative charge away from it. 

I always provide a full support document after the session, a meditation recording and tapping video for you to use. The sessions are 1hr 30 mins and will be over Zoom.

If you really want to give your mental health a reset and you’re looking for something longer term I have several different programs you can explore including the Happy Heads Wellbeing Programme.

It’s been designed to completely transform your wellbeing over the course of 6 - 8 weeks and includes:

SILVER PACKAGE 

* 3 x 1-1 sessions (1.5hr each)

* Processing several big blocks in life that might be holding you back

* 1 x 20 min phone call 'wellbeing check-in'

* Several guided meditations to use across the programme

* Tapping and breathing videos to follow

* Daily practices to integrate into your own routine 

* Regular Whatsapp communication with me to ensure you feel fully supported throughout

GOLD PACKAGE 

* 5 x 1-1 sessions (1.5hr each)

* Processing several big blocks in life that might be holding you back

* 2 x 20 min phone call 'wellbeing check-in'

* Several guided meditations to use across the programme

* Tapping and breathing videos to follow

* Daily practices to integrate into your own routine 

* Regular Whatsapp communication with me to ensure you feel fully supported throughout

I’m flexible with days and times and often work with people in different countries and time zones, so just let me know what works for you. I always offer a FREE 20 minute consultation call to see how I best I can support you.

If this sounds like something you would like to explore please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond - 30 Min Session

your Pregnancy Journey

Becoming pregnant is a truly magical time in life but it’s also a period of immense change, both mentally and physically. Your body transforms rapidly, you may feel tired or sick and it’s completely normal to have worries about birth, finances, or simply coming to terms with becoming a parent (or adding another little one to your family). It’s a lot, and you’re not alone.

During both of my pregnancies, I used EFT Tapping to manage anxieties, overcome self doubt and connect deeply with my body. This practice helped me experience two very positive, yet very different, birth journeys and it also supported me through the postpartum haze.

The Power of Self Belief

Your body is incredible, it will intuitevely grow and birth your baby. When preparing for birth it’s actually LESS about the physical apsect (women have given birth in comas) and WAY more about mentally preparing yourself to overcome self doubt, believe in your body, trust your body, listen to your inner wisdom, harness the power of your breath, visualise a calm and confident birth and changing the way birth is depicted in film and TV (painful and scary) to how it actually is (magical and empowering). The power of self belief is everything and it begins during pregnancy.

Watch this 30 Min YouTube video Now

In this session you will get:

• Insight into the wide range of emotions that can arise during pregnancy and birth.

• Understand the power of self-belief and trusting your body.

• Breathwork exercises to calm both you and your baby.

• Tapping techniques to release pregnancy anxieties, overcome self-doubt, and increase your confidence in your body’s ability to birth and nurture your child.

For more support check out the Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond Programme and get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help.

Big Love,

Kim Murray

Founder of Happy Heads | EFT Tapping, Meditation & Breathwork

Tapping While Waiting For Exam Results

Tapping While Waiting For Exam Results

Waiting for exam results can be a pretty nerve wracking time and it’s really normal to feel a bit anxious. If you’re feeling in any way nervous about the upcoming results, try this short tapping process now to make you feel more calm and grounded. Good luck!

Big Love

Kim x

Tapping Before Starting University

Tapping Before Starting University

Starting university is a big life transition and it’s completely normal to have many mixed emotions. If you’re feeling in any way nervous about starting university then you’re not alone! Try this short tapping process now to make you feel more calm about your exciting new adventure. You’re going to do great!

Big Love

Kim x

TAPPING TO HELP NAVIGATE LIFE'S TRANSITIONS

What is a life transition?

A life transition is any big event that significantly impacts you and they can occur at any stage throughout your life. Some may be positive (getting married) others will be really hard (losing a loved one) and often a bit of both (becoming a new parent).

What can we do to help navigate a life transition?

Whether you are moving house, going through burnout, navigating menopause, grieving or anything else, having a strong self care practice is essential while trying to navigate a life transition and tapping is the perfect tool. The more calm and grounded your nervous system is, the easier it is to regulate your emotions.

Try this simple tapping process above to bring balance back into your nervous system.

For more support please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

3 MIN TAPPING TO REDUCE ANXIETY

Why do we experience anxiety?

Anxiety is a completely normal human emotion to experience but it’s not always easy because it triggers the ancient fight / flight response, which can be a very visceral experience. From an evolutionary perspective anxiety keeps us alive, without it we would all be lemmings walking into the road so think of it as trying to keep you safe.

A key part of the brain to understand when starting to overcome anxiety is your amygdala. This is connected to your brains fear response and triggers the fight, flight, freeze response. The stress hormone cortisol starts to fill your body, adrenaline starts pumping around and your nervous system gets primed for action thinking that it needs to fight the perceived threat (muscles tense, heart beats faster, digestive system slows down). This is called the sympathetic nervous system.

This response was absolutely essential for survival back when we were cavemen and needed to fight sabre toothed tigers, but the problem is these days, our brains don’t know the difference between a real and perceived threat. Maybe you have to stand up and present in front off all your colleagues, you’ve just been given a really tight deadline at work, running late for a meeting, having to go into a new social situation - your nervous system will be going into that same high alert and thinking you’re about to get eaten.

Why is tapping so Effective at reducing anxiety?

Tapping is great at reducing anxiety because it engages your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and relaxation). Tapping on these specific meridian points sends a calming signal to your body and amygdala that you are safe. The rhythmic movement on your body is also really grounding and helps you to be deeply present in your body (another great way to reduce anxiety).

With tapping we always face the problem head on because when we say out loud how we are truly feeling it enables us to process our emotions and change how we feel.

Thinking about the thing that you are anxious about while physically tapping on these Tapping points sends calming signals to the brain. This ultimately rewires how we think and feel. Instead of triggering fight-or-flight mode, as usual, we send an opposing signal to the body letting it know that it is safe.

Using simple but powerful affirmations like “I am safe” while tapping is like speaking directly to your nervous system and amygdala - the perfect way to reduce anxiety.

Tapping to reduce anxiety

If you’re feeling anxious today remember that it is totally normal. Try this 3 minute tapping process to bring some much needed balance back into your body and mind.

For more support reducing anxiety, please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

UNDERSTANDING ANGER: What It Is, Why It Happens, and How to Manage It

WHAT IS ANGER? UNDERSTANDING THE BASICS

Anger is a normal human emotion but it's a big one because it triggers the ancient fight / flight response. The other emotions that do this are anxiety, fear and excitement. This is why anger can be such a visceral experience, you really feel it in your body and that’s because your nervous system is going into that heightened state.

When you feel really angry the stress hormone cortisol will start to flood your body, adrenaline starts to pump around and then your body is getting primed for action (muscles tense, heart beats faster, digestive system slows down). In short doses this response is fine because you are able to come back to a place of rest and relaxation (parasympathetic nervous system) but when you are being continually triggered and feeling angry all the time (whether that is expressed or suppressed) that’s when anger can become really damaging to both your physical and mental wellbeing.

Anger shows up when we feel the need to defend ourselves. It’s a sign that something is wrong and needs our attention and consideration. Neither acting out in anger nor holding it in produces a desirable result. Anger demands our attention, as it buries our more authentic primary emotions, and prevents us from seeing ourselves and our situation clearly, and understanding what is happening within ourselves.

HOW ANGER IMPACTS YOUR BODY AND MIND

The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with ongoing unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body.

Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked to unmanaged anger include:

* headache

* digestion problems, such as abdominal pain

* insomnia

* increased anxiety

* depression

* high blood pressure

* skin problems, such as eczema

* heart attack

* stroke.

WHAT CAUSES ANGER? COMMON EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

Quite often anger is the proceeding emotion that covers up what we're really feeling inside (scared, lost, rejected, unsafe, sad, abandoned, betrayed, lonely, grief, misunderstood, not good enough, not worthy, unloved).

This illustration called the Anger Funnel gives a clear description of how anger can be the blanket emotion for other feelings.

INNER CHILD HEALING AND THE ROOT OF ANGER

Anger isn’t often an emotion that we’re taught to express in a healthy and safe way. Quite often parents will either shame a child for showing their anger or taught to suppress and ignore it. If you want to have a better understanding of how you process anger or how you react to it or express it, then reflect back on your childhood and your parents / caregivers. Ask yourself these questions:

* How did mum / dad express tor suppress their anger?

* Was anger expressed in a healthy way or did it often make me feel unsafe?

* Was anger shown physically?

* Did mum / dad ever shame me for being angry?

* Was I taught to suppress and ignore my anger?

* When I was angry, what did mum / dad to? How did they react?

* Did you often feel angry as a child?

TAPPING TO PROCESS YOUR ANGER

It’s a very powerful and healing practice to explore your anger and find out what it might need. This 30 Min recording of a live session is the perfect way to help you process your anger and free your nervous system of negative tension so get yourself comfortable and watch it now.

EFFECTIVE TOOLS TO MANAGE AND RELEASE ANGER

EXPLORE WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR ANGER

Take time to think about what emotion might be lying behind your anger (anxiety, shame, guilt, stress, grief, not feeling good enough, etc). Understanding what lies behind it enables you to have a much better awareness of what’s really going on and therefore makes it easier to process.

START TO KNOW YOUR WARNING SIGNS

Your body is an incredible source of wisdom and will often be telling you before you consciously know it, that you're feeling stressed, anxious or angry.

These are your anger warning signs, so listen to how your body reacts. Here are some common physical symptoms of anger:

1. Knots in your stomach

2. Clenching your hands or jaw

3. Feeling clammy or flushed

4. Breathing faster

5. Headaches

6. Pacing or needing to walk around

7. “Seeing red”

8. Having trouble concentrating

GET TO KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS

What are the things in life that make you really angry? Better understanding what your own personal triggers are is a great way at being able to more effectively regulate your nervous system.

STOP, PAUSE, BREATHE

Rather than always reacting to a situation take a minute to stop, pause and breathe. Even a few seconds breathing can quickly transform the intensity of anger.

PRIORITISE YOUR MIND & SELF CARE

Sleep is the foundation of your mental health and wellbeing because its during sleep that your brain is drained of the metabolic toxins that have built up during the day. A good nights sleep means you're much less likely to get angry easily.

Meditation strengthens your prefrontal cortex which is your brains ability to self regulate your emotions. The more you meditate, the easier it is to process your emotions.

Tapping is a great way to process anger. Watch the three videos above to see how easy it is to do.

Hydrate & Feed Yourself your brain needs water to function properly so always make sure you're hydrated as even a small amount of dehydration effects how your brain functions. We all know the term 'hangry' and there is a good reason. Being hungry can quickly change your mood so always make sure you're eating healthily and regularly.

HOW TO RELEASE ANGER IN HEALTHY WAYS

Rather than projecting your anger onto others learn healthy and safe ways to process it:

* Boxing is a great at processing anger

* Hit a pillow

* Move your body (in whatever way you need)

* Dance around to music you love

* Breathe in a calming colour, and visualise breathing out a colour that represents your anger

* Invite your anger for a walk in nature - what does it want to tell you today?

* Physically take yourself away from whatever situation is triggering you. Changing your surroundings can quickly change how you feel.

* Set healthy boundaries with people that can often trigger your anger.

* Prepare your nervous system for things that may create anger in you. (for example if commuting makes you angry, make sure you meditate before your commute or even better - during your commute)

If you would like more support in processing your anger please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to hear from you xx

PRIVATE SESSIONS & 1:1 COACHING

PRIVATE SESSIONS & 1:1 COACHING

I have been coaching people for over 10 years now and it’s easily one of the most rewarding parts of what I do because I get to see first hand how someone can transform their mind. Whether you want to work on limiting beliefs, your inner critic, anxiety, burnout, grief, parenting, overwhelm, sleep, your inner child, trauma, stress, pregnancy, fertility or anything else - private sessions are the best way to work on your own personal needs. I work with adults and also specialise in children and families.

Each session is tailored to you and consists of breathing techniques, guided meditation, and a full round of Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). EFT is a powerful tool at helping you release negative tension held in both your body and mind. It’s the perfect partner to meditation as it helps your brain get to the core route of a problem and takes the emotional / negative charge away from it. 

I always provide a full support document after the session, a meditation recording and tapping video for you to use. The sessions are 1hr 30 mins and will be over Zoom.

If you really want to give your mental health a reset and you’re looking for something longer term I have several different programs you can explore including the Happy Heads Wellbeing Programme.

It’s been designed to completely transform your wellbeing over the course of 6 - 8 weeks and includes:

RESET PACKAGE 

* 3 x 1-1 sessions (1.5hr each)

* Processing several big blocks in life that might be holding you back

* 1 x 20 min phone call 'wellbeing check-in'

* Several guided meditations to use across the programme

* Tapping and breathing videos to follow

* Daily practices to integrate into your own routine 

* Regular Whatsapp communication with me to ensure you feel fully supported throughout

THRIVE PACKAGE 

* 5 x 1-1 sessions (1.5hr each)

* Processing several big blocks in life that might be holding you back

* 2 x 20 min phone call 'wellbeing check-in'

* Several guided meditations to use across the programme

* Tapping and breathing videos to follow

* Daily practices to integrate into your own routine 

* Regular Whatsapp communication with me to ensure you feel fully supported throughout

I’m flexible with days and times and often work with people in different countries and time zones, so just let me know what works for you. I always offer a FREE 20 minute consultation call to see how I best I can support you.

If this sounds like something you would like to explore please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help xx

YouTube Live - Grief Support

Grief Support - YouTube Live 4th June

It was the anniversary of my dad’s death last week and what’s really fascinating is the fact that for years I would completely blank out the date. I literally forgot when it was as it just felt too painful - but your body remembers!

Trauma is held in the body, your cells remember way after the event has passed. It’s always a few days before the anniversary of my dad’s death that things feel different and it’s very subtle.

I get an almost sinking feeling. It’s not overwhelming sadness but I just feel slightly off. I feel more tired that usual (hard to decipher when I’m a mum of two little ones so can often feel tired) and I find it harder to focus.

These are very small shifts that for years I wouldn’t have recognised but now I know the signs. I understand that I need to be very gentle and kind to myself, my inner child needs a lot of nurturing around this time and this helps me navigate the grief.

Join me next Weds 4th June at 12pm for my next YouTube Live that is all about supporting grief.

This 30 Min session includes:

* Insight - into grief and how it can manifest both physically and mentally.

* Visualisation - to help reconnect you with the energy of your loved one.

* Tapping - to help you process your grief and bring balance back into your nervous system.

Go to my Happy Heads YouTube channel and you will get a notification just before it starts. It’s also recorded so you can watch in your own time.

I can’t wait to see you there.

Big Love

Kim xx

5 MIN TAPPING TO STOP NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

We have approximately 60,000 thoughts per day and if most of those are negative, it’s easy to see how it can have a big impact on your mental health and happiness. Your brain also has a negativity bias, which is why it’s so easy to feel flooded with negative thoughts.

The negativity bias is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events. From an evolutionary perspective this bias would have helped to remain safe because our ancestors would have needed to pay attention to negative threats in the world in order to survive.

As humans, we tend to:

* Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones.

* Recall insults better than praise.

* React more strongly to negative stimuli.

* Think about negative things more frequently than positive ones.

* Respond more strongly to negative events than to equally positive ones.

It’s exhausuting right?

Tapping is the perfect tool to stop your negative thoughts and rewire your mind to think differently. Try this 5 Min Tapping Meditation now to bring some positivity and stillness back into your mind.

For more support overcoming your negative thoughts please get in touch kim@happyheads.me I would love to help.